i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im holly from the hills drunk
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
