So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize