I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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