I bet he comes in French.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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