3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
