I just saw a hot homeless man
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize