Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
