Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
