he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
