found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
