When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
