Its about making memories worth repressing
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
