he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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