then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hate all girls vehemently.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
