So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize