I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do cheetos always look like penises
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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