Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i will never coherently bang her
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
