so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
