I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
