im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
