apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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