my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
