More tranny stories later!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
