Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
