Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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