God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
