i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
