Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
