They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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