This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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