Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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