her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize