Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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