its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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