i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
