so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
