Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
