god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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