i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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