All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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