um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
