Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
