You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
