Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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