The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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