Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
