I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
