i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
