sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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