I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
