Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
