omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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