If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
