I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
