She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
