her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There r osticjed everywhere
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
