can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
