so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
