dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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