hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
